Our first family trip was a disaster. We forgot the stroller adapter. We packed 4 outfits for the baby and 1 for me. The car seat didn't fit the rental. My wife and I didn't speak for most of the drive home.
Our tenth family trip was great. Not because the kids got easier. Because we got a system.
Here's everything I've learned about traveling with kids, packed into one page you can reference the night before you leave.
The night-before checklist
Do these things the night before you leave. Not the morning of. The morning of is chaos no matter what. Accept that and front-load the prep.
Pack the kids bag first. One outfit per day plus two extras. Two sets of pajamas. Underwear for every day plus three backups. Socks. A jacket even if it's summer (planes and hotels are cold). Swimsuit if there's any chance of water. Done.
Pack the "oh no" bag. This is a separate bag that goes in the car or your carry-on. It has: diapers/pull-ups (more than you think), wipes, a change of clothes for the youngest kid, children's Tylenol, Band-Aids, Ziploc bags, and one garbage bag. This bag has saved us on every single trip.
Charge everything. iPads, phones, portable battery, headphones. Plug them all in before you go to bed. Dead devices on a 3-hour flight with a toddler is a horror movie.
Download entertainment. Netflix, Disney+, and YouTube all let you download content for offline viewing. Download 4-5 shows or movies per kid tonight. Don't rely on airport wifi.
Pack snacks like you're preparing for a siege. Goldfish, applesauce pouches, granola bars, fruit snacks. More than you'll need. Snacks fix 60% of kid meltdowns. That's not a guess. That's field data from 10 trips.
Airport survival
Arrive early. Earlier than you think. With kids, everything takes 3x longer. Security with a stroller, car seat, and a toddler who just discovered the joy of running is a 20-minute event. Give yourself the buffer.
Gate-check the stroller. Most airlines let you use the stroller all the way to the gate and check it there for free. Do this. The stroller is your best friend in an airport. It's a containment device, a luggage cart, and a nap machine.
Let them run. Before boarding, find an open area near the gate and let them burn energy. A tired kid on a plane is a quiet kid on a plane. The gate area is not the time for "sit still and be quiet."
Board last, not first. I know the airline says families can board early. Skip it. Early boarding means more time trapped in a metal tube waiting for everyone else. Board last. Less time sitting.
The car trip version
Drive during nap time or bedtime. The single best car trip hack is leaving at 6pm so the kids sleep for the first 3 hours. Arrive late, carry them in, everyone wakes up on vacation.
Stop every 2 hours. Not for you. For them. Let them out. Let them run around a gas station parking lot. Buy them a snack. Get back in. Two hours is the max a kid under 6 can sit without going feral.
The backseat bag. A tote bag within arm's reach of whoever's sitting with the kids. It has snacks, wipes, a change of clothes, headphones, and an activity (coloring book, sticker sheet). This bag never goes in the trunk.
Gear that's worth the money
COSCO Scenera NEXT car seat ($50). This is the travel car seat. It's cheap, light, and FAA-approved for planes. Buy one just for trips and leave your good car seat in the car at home.
Portable white noise machine ($20-30). Hotel rooms are loud. New environments are stimulating. A white noise machine helps kids sleep in a strange room. We use the Hatch Rest Go.
Kids headphones with volume limiter ($15-25). Regular headphones get too loud. Kids headphones cap the volume at 85dB. We use Puro Sound Labs. They've survived 2 years of abuse.
Portable high chair/booster ($25-40). Not every restaurant has a high chair. The Summer Infant Pop N Sit folds flat and fits in a suitcase. Game changer for eating out.
AirTag or Tile in the kid's bag ($25). Put a tracker in your kid's backpack. When it gets left under a restaurant table (it will), you'll know exactly where it is.
The real advice
Lower your expectations by 50%. A successful family trip is not the same as a successful adult trip. Nobody's sleeping in. Nobody's having a quiet dinner at 9pm. The goal is making memories, not Instagram moments.
The best trips we've had are the ones where we planned less and left more room for boring stuff. Playing in the hotel pool for 3 hours. Walking to get ice cream. Throwing rocks in a lake. Kids don't need a packed itinerary. They need your attention and a change of scenery.
Pack the checklist. Lower the bar. Go have fun.